oh goodness.

life has been better. not so much sickness, not so much stress, lots of delicious food. Life cant get better right?
...i love Up All Night...
that is the first thing that i post because it is what i am watching at this very moment. that is beside the point. Its hillarious. i love Maya Rudolph. i do. shes hillarious.
 i got to Skype with Brandon today for like half an hour which was faboo. he stripped for me. i saw his collar bone and we shared a Milo candy bar. i think i need to get skyler a skype. every time i am on he always tries to creep in the backround of all my conversations. what a bum. not even kidding.

it is still hot as sin here. just in case you are wondering.. sin is seriously SO hot..  the sun is shining and i hate it. i do not like the sun one bit. he burns me and makes me peel and then be white again. its not MY fault i was born basically albino! {although the 2 times i have been to Florida i got tan and it made me ver very happy!}
Its wedding season. its baby season.
everyone is either having a baby or getting pregnant and it makes me so very happy. babies scare me and make me think i am going to break them. once they hit about 4 or 5 months then its fun happy time and i play with them lots and lots. sky + i have been very on-again-off-again with the whole baby topic. everyone says the coined phrase "youll just know." i dont know so obviously its not time. right? at least thats my argument with the hubby. lets see how long that lasts before our stances switch again. ill be begging for a baby and he will say no. oh well i guess? when we are both ready then i guess we will know it is for sure the right time.
this blog post is EVERYWHERE. i keep getting distracted by my pinterest on the other screen and the cmt top 20 countdown to my left.   just one more thing and i think i will be done. i got new business cards. i love these little puppies. they look different in person because they are printed on paper that has a pearl finish on them so they are shiny!! i LOVE shiny!
designed them myself and i think theyre great. if you dont like them then you suck and i couldnt care less haha. i tried uploading a photo of them but it keeps putting it smack dab in the middle of my post and it pissed me off to the point where i dont care if it is on here or not... stupid computer.

okay i tried again and it worked so obviously i cared enough to try a katrillion times and it had to work at some point. IN YOUR FACE TECHNOLOGY! okay im done. too much distraction. i just saw a great pin and now taylor swift is on.  

in sickness + in health

well I sure hope he meant it! This stress is getting to me people. badly. I have been up for hairs thinking and editing and puking.. wracking my brain on how to get out of these situations I am in. I have gotten support from many of you and I am very appreciative of that. All of your kind words make me wake up every morning with my head held high not feeling like a piece of crap like some people want me to feel. My body does this thing when I get stressed out; it always has & I HATE it. It basically shuts down. I can't keep food in my system, I can't sleep (hence the 1:15am blog post) and it sucks. It's horrible. I hate that Skyler has to deal with me like this all the time. We will be out or have plans and we have to head home early because "I don't feel good." I feel so bad for the kid. Anyone want to take my place so he can hit the town every once in a while?? I have a cousin who has Crohn's Disease and he posted an article on how they have discovered new evidence that Crohn's runs through cousins.. do I have it.. do I have a gluten allergy.. am I lactose-intolerant.. or OS my body shutting down again due to stress for the millionth time in my life? We might not ever figure it out...

Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.1

i'm on one

okay so heres the skinny. work is freaking kicking my butt. so this is what im going to do. im going to vent the crap out of this post then go on and pretend like i didnt. haha. okay not really but kinda.
i have been so stressed. anxiety, major. i never have had anxiety worse, or ever, than i have had the last couple weeks. my palms get sweaty. my heart POUNDS. my head throbs full of the possibilities of what could go wrong in my head. and with my luck, most of it has happened. i had a shoot with a bride whom i have known for years. i gave her her photos and the words came out. the words i have been dreading from ANY customer of mine.. "i hate them. every single one of them." what i dont understand is this: you have known me so long. you have seen my work, ALL of my work. you cant get the photos back and hate them.. doesnt make sense. she wanted a full refund of her deposit and a disk with all of her formal bridal photos on them so she could do with them what she wanted. i said no. is that wrong of me? i didnt think it is. I had already taken the time out of my schedule to shoot + edit the photos.. after talking to my good friend cami, i refunded half of her deposit, had he sign a release and was finished. it took some of the stress away. but not all of it. my dr perscribed me propranolol for anxiety and headaches and i really hope it works. this new me has come out of nowhere and its driving me nuts. taking photos of other people is really the only type of therapy that has kept me going.
photos. cooking. friends.
ive been gone, last weekend utah, this weekend, vegas. i loved being in Utah. spending time with my cousins up there was such a good time. jakey had just gotten home from his mission Seattle, Washington, and i hadnt seen scott since he had come home. Hailey + I also got to spend time together. weird that we live right down the road from one another but we spend time togetehr 800 miles away from home. it was a great time.

Vegas was great. the Watkins family is amazing and they always know how to make us feel riiiight at home. When we found out it was Davids 50th birthday, we just HAD to make it up there. we spent time with ronda, david, the twins, mackenzie and elises family. we went to canes, shopping, and had davids birthday party! {the next morning david made us biscuits + gravy. YUM} this last weekend was great. it gave skyler some time away from work which he needed so much! he has been working so hard and has been amazingly supportive of all of this BS drama that has been swarming around me and i am glad that we decided to go on vaca. It is almost his birthday and i am super stoked for his gift. even though he knows what it is, i am still SO excited to give it to him. he will be like a kid in a candy store... or a man in a gun store. either way, he will be happy which will make ME happy.
this weekend was supposed to be the wedding {dramabride is now her new name} I was going to shoot but since the F&FR was signed, i am no longer bust this weekend. Friday night its the dbacks throwback game and then saturday i am taking skyler out to dinner for his birthday. possibly firebirds? thats what he has thrown out and i hope thats what he sticks to! i am craving a bacon wrapped filet mignon. mmm. now im hungry. time to check on my crocpot meal and head back to editing. today has been so blah... but like i said... im on one.