Our Mancub

Our Mancub
Rex 9 months

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

i'm on one

okay so heres the skinny. work is freaking kicking my butt. so this is what im going to do. im going to vent the crap out of this post then go on and pretend like i didnt. haha. okay not really but kinda.
i have been so stressed. anxiety, major. i never have had anxiety worse, or ever, than i have had the last couple weeks. my palms get sweaty. my heart POUNDS. my head throbs full of the possibilities of what could go wrong in my head. and with my luck, most of it has happened. i had a shoot with a bride whom i have known for years. i gave her her photos and the words came out. the words i have been dreading from ANY customer of mine.. "i hate them. every single one of them." what i dont understand is this: you have known me so long. you have seen my work, ALL of my work. you cant get the photos back and hate them.. doesnt make sense. she wanted a full refund of her deposit and a disk with all of her formal bridal photos on them so she could do with them what she wanted. i said no. is that wrong of me? i didnt think it is. I had already taken the time out of my schedule to shoot + edit the photos.. after talking to my good friend cami, i refunded half of her deposit, had he sign a release and was finished. it took some of the stress away. but not all of it. my dr perscribed me propranolol for anxiety and headaches and i really hope it works. this new me has come out of nowhere and its driving me nuts. taking photos of other people is really the only type of therapy that has kept me going.
photos. cooking. friends.
ive been gone, last weekend utah, this weekend, vegas. i loved being in Utah. spending time with my cousins up there was such a good time. jakey had just gotten home from his mission Seattle, Washington, and i hadnt seen scott since he had come home. Hailey + I also got to spend time together. weird that we live right down the road from one another but we spend time togetehr 800 miles away from home. it was a great time.

Vegas was great. the Watkins family is amazing and they always know how to make us feel riiiight at home. When we found out it was Davids 50th birthday, we just HAD to make it up there. we spent time with ronda, david, the twins, mackenzie and elises family. we went to canes, shopping, and had davids birthday party! {the next morning david made us biscuits + gravy. YUM} this last weekend was great. it gave skyler some time away from work which he needed so much! he has been working so hard and has been amazingly supportive of all of this BS drama that has been swarming around me and i am glad that we decided to go on vaca. It is almost his birthday and i am super stoked for his gift. even though he knows what it is, i am still SO excited to give it to him. he will be like a kid in a candy store... or a man in a gun store. either way, he will be happy which will make ME happy.
this weekend was supposed to be the wedding {dramabride is now her new name} I was going to shoot but since the F&FR was signed, i am no longer bust this weekend. Friday night its the dbacks throwback game and then saturday i am taking skyler out to dinner for his birthday. possibly firebirds? thats what he has thrown out and i hope thats what he sticks to! i am craving a bacon wrapped filet mignon. mmm. now im hungry. time to check on my crocpot meal and head back to editing. today has been so blah... but like i said... im on one.


  1. Ugh girl! That makes me so frustrated for you! You take amazing pictures! Don't let anyone tell you otherwise! I'm sorry that happened...How annoying for her to tell you to your face and react that way! I'm glad you had fun in Vegas and Utah! BTW I think you're a very talented photographer! :)

  2. You are amazing - totally the brides loss!! Sorry for all the drama you have to deal with. Hope you have a great weekend! Hugs from Marleigh and Me :)